It’s ok not to be ok
It’s ok not to be ok
I need you to know this
Welcome. The theme for this month is RUOK? and exploring mental well-being in the context of societal erosion.
Each month we share insights, reflection questions, quotes, and book recommendations on a key theme as well as update you on new articles, podcasts, and events in our community.
Share the love… Invite your friends, colleagues, and family to sign up and receive these digests. You could also share the content with your community (team, colleagues, friends and family) and even set up monthly conversations on the themes.
Sending you love on RUOK day (and every day).
I’m writing this digest on RUOK day.
It is a day dedicated to mental health – helping us to notice the signs of mental health struggles in ourselves and others.
Have you checked in with yourself lately? And if you believe you are okay, is that a sign of good or ill health?
Many of us are not ok. We are struggling with many of the same challenges humans have always struggled with but with increased speed, information overload and pressure and without the social fabric, bonds, networks, and release valves that may have helped us cope in the past.
Add to that all the motivational posts to be a super person on social media, selling us cures and quotes to make everything better, telling us that if we exercise more or think positively, it will all get better – it’s no wonder many are on the brink of despair.
Today, I am here to tell you that it is okay and actually very reasonable not to be okay. I am also here to share that in today’s climate – if you are okay without having invested significantly in your compassion and evolution, you might be part of the problem.
We shouldn’t be okay with increasing economic disparity. We shouldn’t be okay with systems not serving the people they espouse to exist for, with most people stuck in survival mode, with modern slavery, animal cruelty, destruction of our environment, dysfunctional, unaccountable government, increasingly polarised perspectives and lack of desire for mutual understanding.
None of this is ok. We should not be ok. To feel mentally good right now without being well on the road to enlightenment may require a level of delusion. Yes, the ego can feel good when it shares the limited and unhealthy values of those it is surrounded by – but do not confuse this good feeling for health.
And for those who feel great but are causing pain to those around them – this is not mental health but a form of sociopathy. Compassion and love are central to being fully human. If we are thriving on the outside but experiencing soul death on the inside – we are not okay.
As an individual, connected to the broader world, the broader world has an impact. As Krishnamurti purportedly said, “It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society.”
It is far easier (and more profitable for big Pharma) to medicate individuals for mental illness and pressure people to conform to a sick society than to transform, invest in a better world and challenge the status quo.
If you’ve read between my lines here – it is true. Structures and systems (economic, political, and social) are intentionally or unintentionally invested in you not being okay and simultaneously preaching that you should be okay. Wonder why you’ve been feeling the cognitive dissonance?
If you recognise that systemic sickness is impacting you, take heart.
There is a way to find okay, even good – and great within, even in this crazy world, yet it takes work and character development and an acceptance that suffering is inevitable.
How? Here are some tips:
- Maintain a sense of humour, satire, and irony. Regardless of the tragedies that abound – find a way to laugh and see things from a big-picture perspective. Irony and satire help us to recognise tragedy without being trapped by it.
- Find meaning in your suffering. Unavoidable suffering of some kind is a part of life. How we respond to it determines how fruitful it is for our character and our impact on others. Some ways to find meaning in suffering are serving others and learning and growing from our experiences.
- Focus on what you can influence – not the things outside your control.
- Protect your soul’s integrity. No matter the material advantage presented to you by taking an easy way out, if it erodes your character or integrity even by a small amount – make a better choice.
- Surround yourself with kindness. Be kind to yourself and be discerning with the people you connect to. Network and connect with good people. Ensure the kindness of those in your network is inspiring rather than pacifying.
If you are not okay – it is not your fault – yet it is within your capacity to find a way to greater well-being.
The way is not through conformity to and passive acceptance of an unhealthy society. It can be found through investing in your character and self-authorship—step by step, creating your own world within, and influencing the things in your sphere.
In summary:
Human beings are rarely mentally unwell as individuals; in fact, it is easy to argue that society itself has made individuals unhealthy.
So-called well-adjusted individuals are often those who have adjusted to the sickness of society. In doing so, they perpetuate the conditions of ill health for those who question the status quo.
People often avoid self-authoring their lives because of the pressure to conform – going against that pressure for many is a feat of mental health.
Self-authorship helps you free yourself from the limitations of your conditioning and find a way to be your fuller self – despite the world outside. It is a pathway to being more truly healthy regardless of external conditions.
Generative Questions to expand and explore
- What did reading the above provoke in you?
- Where do you see the intersection of societal and personal health and well-being?
In the Academy, Self-Authoring provides the opportunity to develop inner congruence and clarity for who you stand for in your life and to understand and experience transforming your mind and living from your truth.
Self-Transforming (available to participants who complete Self-Authoring) takes you deep into an experience of meditation – living your life as a meditation. In Self-Transforming you learn to cultivate extraordinary levels of vitality, lead effectively through challenge and create positive momentum in the broader world.
If you’d like to find out more email us at experience@newmillenniumleader.com.
Events
New Millennium Leader is offering 1-hour experiences based on themes in these digests and requests from our community. They will be recorded for those who register and are unable to attend on the day.
For our Academy members look out for an email with further details – your admission is complimentary as part of your membership.
If you are not yet an Academy member you can pay a small fee to attend. As a bonus – if you join the Academy in the month after the event your payment will be refunded to you.
Written Word Insights
- Expanding Reality – Study and Learning is the third and final in my series of three articles from my reality-expanding 7-week adventure in Europe and the UK. You can read the final instalment here.
Quotes on our theme: RUOK?
“Caring for myself is not self-indulgence. It’s self-preservation.”
Audre Lorde
“When you put love out into the world it travels, and it can touch people and reach people in ways that we never even expected.”
Laverne Cox
“The place to begin building any relationship is inside ourselves, inside our circle of influence, our own character.””
Stephen Covey
To learn more about how we can claim our inner peace regardless of the context we are in, read Leadership for the New Millennium.
The book is available in paperback, e-book, and audiobook (narrated by me).
Are you ok? Send your thoughts or reflections to alison@alisoncameron.com.
Sending you big waves of love through this digest. Together we can become a force stronger than that which threatens our well-being.
With love,
Alison
